Rape Fantasy

Maggie put her ear to the door and listened. She heard her heart beating in her ears and nothing else. She tried the door handle, it was unlocked. The scent of cream and fish lingered in the darkness. She crept silently to the bedroom, by feel. The place hadn't changed much. When the floor boards creaked, she stopped and stood still for a solid minute, listening for sounds of movement. The door to the bedroom was slightly ajar, there was no light on inside. She pushed the door and held her breath. She searched the darkness for his form lying in bed, but it was was empty.
"Shit."

*


Maggie watched in her car from across the street for the girl to leave his house. He wouldn't spend the night with her, he never did. She drifted off during the third repeat of her entire music selection and did not notice the woman slip out. When she woke up, the lights were out. Maggie shifted and stretched and immediately looked for the place the woman's car had been. She looked at the dash for the time, hours had gone by. Good she thought. This time she crept around back, slipping through the gate alerted the neighbor's dog, she jumped at the slobbering growl. "Shhhhh." The dog let out a string of barking expletives, she could swear it was saying "slut". "Asshole." She said, safely behind the shield of the fence. From the back yard, she could see his bedroom window. The lights were out there too.

As she approached the low laundry-room window, a spiderweb wrapped around her face. She felt the tingly sensations all over her body of a million spiders crawling on her skin. She shivered and contorted spastic and repulsed, patting herself down and completely forgetting her mission. The neighbor's dog started up on another round of expletives. "Damn it." Maggie whispered. She squatted low beneath the window and closed her eyes. After a few moments, once the dog had shut up, Maggie jiggled the window. The screen came down on and bounced off her head, a corner scraped the flesh that was exposed on her lower back as she squatted there. "Ouch." Before she could assess the injury, she heard the cold metal cock of a gun.

"Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing in my back yard?"

*

Maggie frequented the pub she knew he sometimes visited. If this was going to work, he'd have to be pissed. She sat in the back facing the entrance and waited. She had a steely determined grip on her drink. She didn't hear the first time he spoke.

"Maggie!"
She blinked, not recognizing who it was, "What?"
"You were totally zoned out there, girl."
He was blocking her view of the door now.
"Yeah." She said trying to look around him.
"Do you remember me?"
Maggie was annoyed, she sighed and looked up. "Holy shit! Tom? What are you doing here?"
"You didn't hear? Damn, no wonder you haven't called. My mom passed away."
"On no! I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"Well, I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore..."
Maggie was calculating how long she would have to talk to him before it would be appropriate to look around the room for her target. She tuned out Tom and watched his mouth moving. Her mind flashed back to kissing that mouth, she remembered his sour breath and the warm way he fucked. She could almost have forgotten her plan. She was sure Tom would go home with her if she made him feel welcome.
"So, weren't you in, like, Iraq or something? They let you come home for the funeral?"
Tom looked at her and shook his head. "Never mind Mags..."
"No. Tom, I'm sorry, I was just looking for someone."
"Yeah, I can tell."
"You could have called me, Tom."
"I'll remember that next time."
The anger and that flashed in his eyes as he turned to go made her want to fuck him, and not just out of sympathy. She got up to follow Tom outside. As she did he walked in the door. The one she'd been looking for. She felt a fluttering madness deep down in her guts. Turning quick on her heel she went into the lady's room and entered a stall. She was so nervous, she almost expected him to follow her inside, she fumbled with the lock on the door and sat down on the toilet with her hands pressed into her face. There was no going back out there. She checked the window in the ladies room, it had bars. "Damn it!" Maggie went back to her stall and sat down. She picked up her feet when she heard the door open. Two people came in, stone drunk, slobbering all over themselves. Seriously? Fucking whores. Maggie shook her head silently.
"Condom."
Maggie could hear the package tearing and the rippling plastic sound of it being applied. She gagged.
"Can you?"
Maggie closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her ears but she could still hear the sounds echoing off the tiles.
There was a shuddering thud on the rickety metal stall next to her.
"Ouch."
"I'm sorry."
"Oh shit."
"Huh?"
"No, really, SHIT."
"Oh my God. That's fucking sick."
"Lets go somewhere else...cleaner."
"Um, yeah."

Maggie bit down on her lip, hard, so she wouldn't laugh out loud. She let out an inside out snort instead, when the door closed she put her feet down on the ground and let herself guffaw. Idiots. She thought. The thought of sitting in the bathroom all night made her suddenly angry. Why was she hiding? It should be the other way around. She found the courage to peek out the ladies room door. As she did, she was nearly bowled over by a fat girl with mascara smeared down her face.
"I'm sorry." The girl sniffed.
"Don't worry about it."

Maggie wasn't about to stick around for blubbering from the fat girl, so she made her exit. She glanced around the pub quickly, trying not to be too obvious. There was no sign of him. In the parking lot, she didn't see his car.

"Damn."

*

When Maggie entered his room, her eyes lit on fire when she saw that he was asleep, alone in his bed. He slept in the nude, she knew for a fact. She slipped off her shoes and tip-toed to his bed and pulled back his covers. He stirred and turned over on his side. His flaccid dick lolled over, it was just how she remembered. She crept over him and her mouth watered. With her knees in his back, she bent over him and propped herself on her elbows. She turned her head slightly and slid her lips down his dick. It was soft and salty. She gagged slightly, thinking about what vagina had been around it last. Or worse. Now was not the time for chickening out. She buried all thoughts of micro-organisms deep down in her gullet and braced herself. She took a deep breath and sucked his dick into her mouth sideways. The head pressed against the inside of her cheek. He went hard in seconds. Maggie was pleased with herself. He must have been expecting someone, or dreaming, he wasn't alarmed that she was in his bed, and she knew he had to be partially awake.

"Oh. God. Don't stop." He said.

Everything was going according to plan. She remembered exactly what made his body come alive. She knew every vein, every curve of his skin. His eyes were closed in an agony as she pressed and and licked and sucked him, hungry to please him. She could feel the panic in his breath, the desperation for her to let him finish, to drink it all down. It took longer than she remembered. When he was pulsing, she pressed a knee on his shoulder and let all her weight down on it as she swung her other leg around him, hiking her skirt up in the same motion.

"Ow! Christ!" He opened his eyes and looked up at her. A look of panic washed over his face. Maggie smiled and drew an elegant knife from a holster on her thigh. She laid the blade across his throat and shifted downward. With the blade on his throat, she slid onto his dick with a muffled groan.

"You crazy bitch."
"Shut the fuck up." She said pressing the knife down on his windpipe. His hands gently gripped her wrists and she imagined their warmth on her breasts, touching her, wanting her. It was too much, two hot tears fell from her eyes, she heard the tiny splashes on his chest and she sniffed hard as she thrust, all the synapses of her brain were firing. She fucked him, cold and angry. She didn't anticipate how good it would feel, raping him. She didn't anticipate the pleasure of taking what she wanted. Like a low rumbling thunder, she felt her muscles contract, exquisitly flooding her body with waves of pleasure. She stared down at him and felt him ejaculate inside her. This was also unexpected. She paused and let go of the knife.

*
In some versions of her fantasy, she plunged the blade into his throat sideways and ripped it up, severing every chord. But that was just a fantasy. In real life, she couldn't have hurt him. She hated him too much.




Dedicated to Margaret Atwood